I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
