mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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