We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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