The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
