Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
