i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
