I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
