I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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