i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
