you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My vagina is very pro this idea
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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