you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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