glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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