And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
