Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
