How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
