I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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