Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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