I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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