i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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