so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
