I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
