Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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