I'm so fucking centered right now
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My dick has a subreddit
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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