Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize