You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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