carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
