You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
