Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
