explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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