You really coming over, don't trick.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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