Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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