i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
