so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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