how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
