The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
