Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i permit you to call me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
