who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
