This girl is more easily done than said...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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