Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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