i think my tv is drunk
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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