I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
