I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
