once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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