gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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