also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
