Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
