I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
