I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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