i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
