Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
