I'm lost and stupid without you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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