I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
