This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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