i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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