I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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