She announced her abortion via fbk
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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