i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
no, he came in my armpit
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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