Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
