Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
