halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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