so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
