smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
