Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize